Courtesy of Robert Meyers



The Stone Garden

A good friend came to call
I had not seen her in awhile
She said that I had changed
Something different in my smile
She asked with true sincerity

How my life was going
So I took her by the hand
To the garden I'd been growing;

There enclosed by fence
Was a garden full of stones
With a few skinny budlings
Poking through like bones
Her face became puzzled
As I'd thought it surely would
So I began to tell it's meaning
In the best way I could;

This garden is symbolic
Of the sort of life I've led
Each stone a heavy burden
Of which I could not shed
I've collected them all willingly
In moments of despair
From such an early age
In my young soul unaware;

The smallest one I found
Around the age of five
I deemed myself a killer
When my cat suddenly died
I knew there was no fault
Deep down in my young heart
But with this tiny stone
And it's blame I could not part;

The next little one came
In the fall of second grade
I lied in the face of embarrassment
About a mistake I had made
I know that sounds so trivial
It was many years ago
But small are beginnings
Of grains that form a stone;

Not so long thereafter
I don't recall just when
Unspeakable acts happened
That should've never been
Stones were thrust upon me
I thought it was my due
So I buried them deep inside
Oh the shame I went through;

As a teen I rebelled hard
For the stones began to grind
I had to stop the agony
And drugs weren't hard to find
For awhile I felt so good
As if my guilty ties were freed
A fool will carry his gold
No matter how deceiving it be;

As a young adult I married
Gave birth to a precious son
I felt the need to make a right
For every wrong I'd done
I tried to climb a mountain
And throw my stones away
But it wasn't all that simple
For I stumbled and lost my way;

Through years I struggled on
My ambition began to wear
I just seemed to fight so hard
Never getting anywhere
My husband always angry
His comfort a bottle of booze
So I figured it was my fault
Yes I carried his stones too;

With anger's push I trotted
Till I came upon a rocky ledge
It seemed the way to freedom
Lay somewhere over the edge
There was no room left in me
A deep cavern of solid stone
How cumbersome one feels
When even the tears are gone;

As I stood  there on that cliff
Taking my last breath inside
I asked for Gods forgiveness
And then I closed my eyes
I believe He must have heard
For something swept over me
An intuition that shook me hard
An urge to turn and see;

At first I could not believe it
For it was against nature's law
There bloomed from ancient crust
A message strong and tall
An iris of extraordinary power
Each petal as bright as gold
I examined it quite closely
Yes it's roots beneath the stone;

I can't explain the feeling
The transformation deep inside
I felt His arms embrace me
For the first time in my life
The iris had broken through 
From hardened stone to show
He holds the seeds I crave
But only I can make them grow;

So you see my little garden
Though appearing very odd
Is where I lay my burdens
After sharing them with God
Each stone that I place here
Can no longer hold me down
And with each seed I sew
Something beautiful can be found;

Beginnings of trust and love
From the fear that filled me so
From guilt I held in darkness
Forgiveness is sure to glow
Enriched with plenty of hope
No regret will spoil this land
Beside God I tend my garden
With faith and a patient hand.

Teresa Wilson ~ 1999


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