Love, an emotion our hearts long to endear, perhaps to some, it is nothing more than a word. Whichever the case for you, deep down we all crave it, even if we don't want to admit it. As creatures of habit, we are born into the search, the search to find true love. As children we depend on our parents, and other family, to give us love. To nurture and mold the shape of our hearts. Then after some growth we depend less on them, and lean toward our friends to give us love and guidance. Remember passing love notes in the third grade? "I love you, do you love me? Please say yes." Then as we mature into adults, we put away our childish requests and begin the serious quest for love. Or so we think. Have you ever said, "God, please let this be the one"? If so, maybe you should read on.
It has been said that mountains have been moved for love, many oceans have been crossed in search of it, some have laid down their lives and died in their struggle to conquer this never ending need for love. This thing that we know will make us feel good and whole, to fill our hearts and let us fly high on its wings of glory.
In many minds, love is a fantasy, perfectly rehearsed and carefully acted out on the great stage of life. Unfortunately, the curtain often falls before the last act is played out. The scene is abandoned, everyone in the house is left confused and heartbroken. Even though every line was written and perfected. And so, we move on to the next play.
At some point in our lives, we may give up the search. We may stare into the mirror and ask, "What is wrong with me"? "Why do others seem to find love so easily, and I can't"? Let me just say that God gave us all a heart, but he did not give us mirrors. Why limit yourself to such a small reflection, when there is so much more you have to show? Should we look to others to give us this love, or can we look inward? Must our eyes only see out?
Could it be that the quest for true love is something we already hold within? A treasure in which the key has been overlooked? Maybe sometimes we expect too much from each other, and ourselves. Can we try to see through the flaws and into the good? Is the key to the treasure held in our own hand, through acceptance? of others? of ourselves? Could it possibly be that simple?
Could we find this genuine love we so desperately desire, in our own hearts? How you say? Well, I can tell you that the key is not... "I wish"..."I want"...."I should have"..."Why can't I"...nor the favorite, "I need". Nothing beautiful can grow with all that regret weighing us down, this much I know. The truth is that each of us have a custom made key, one that fits every heart. For you it may be ... "I can"..."I understand"...."I give"..."we can"...or my own personal key, ...."I am"...."I can be".
Can we? We can, see ourselves through the eyes of love, and not be limited to those mirrors we paint for ourselves. Can we? We can, find the love that lives around us, inside of us. There is so much in our daily lives, simple things, things that fill us with love. We merely need to learn to embrace it, to grasp that key and feel it turn.
It may be in the smile of an old woman whose heart you have touched, just by saying hello, or holding her hand. Maybe you listened patiently while she reminisced about her life experiences, and truly enjoyed her company.
It may come to you in the tender hug of a child, whose tears you have wiped away, and chased the monsters out of his closet. Perhaps you gently kissed his cheek and held him until he found those peaceful dreams again.
You may feel love in the heartfelt words of a friend, who always seems to know, just when you need his kind words the most. Maybe he never judges you, and accepts you just the way your are.
Love may come to you while standing high on a mountain top, overlooking the creations of our Father himself. Maybe you never realized His strength and beauty, until you took it all in and let it take you.
Love may take you by surprise in a moment when you feel lost and alone. Maybe you got down on your knees, and ask for help, maybe you crawled. Can it be that God's Love has the power to heal and comfort us like a warm blanket?
It may be felt in a simple touch to the face, by a gentle hand. Maybe that hand holds trust and honesty, a sweetness that the child in you never experienced. Maybe that simple touch is what you needed to find the lost innocence inside of you.
Love may come to you in a handful of wilted daisies, presented with a beautiful smile on a dirty little face. Maybe you returned a grateful smile, and not just for the daisies.
You may look into the eyes of a dying friend, and feel the compassion and love she gives to you, in a moment when you feel nothing but pain and loss. Maybe love hurts the most when we feel it the strongest.
Perhaps you have been blessed with the beautiful gift of seeing a new life emerging into this world. Maybe the joy overwhelmed you, turned your key and filled your heart. Maybe the tiny new life, gave you new eyes to really see what you've been missing.
Not one of these things, but all of them and more, touch our lives every day that we breathe. We can choose to view these events, record them with our cam recorders and file them away, push on through our daily routine of survival. Or we can allow our hearts to feel them, relish them, live them fully. Know that these are the moments that weave the fabric of love within our lives. We can replay them over and over in our vault of memories, once we have turned that key.
In closing I just want to clarify that I am not a philosopher, a psychologist, nor do I hold any certificates of status. I am simply me, and I know this much for sure. Love doesn't come in a greeting card, a jewelry case, a new outfit, nor the finest of homes to live in. It cannot be measured, analyzed, nor even captured in these words. I am simply me and I am learning to love all that is me, flaws and all. I will never again search high and low for love, for I have found it, right here inside, where it has always been.
/~~~~ Feb. 1999
"Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly." ~ St. Francis DeSales
"The best and most beautiful things in the world, cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." ~ Helen Keller
"Poverty stole your golden shoes It didn't steal your laughter And heartache came to visit me But I knew it wasn't ever after " ~ Jewel